I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions.
Whatever I see, I swallow immediately.
Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike
I am not cruel, only truthful –
The eye of a little god, four-cornered.
Most of the time I meditate on the opposite wall.
It is pink, with speckles. I have looked at it so long
I think it is a part of my heart. But it flickers.
Faces and darkness separate us over and over.
Now I am a lake. A woman bends over me.
Searching my reaches for what she really is.
Then she turns to those liars, the candles or the moon.
I see her back, and reflect it faithfully
She rewards me with tears and an agitation of hands.
I am important to her. She comes and goes.
Each morning it is her face that replaces the darkness.
In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me an old woman
Rises toward her day after day, like a terrible fish.
-Sylvia Plath
I knew this was sylvia plath from the first line. I love this poem, I studied it for GCSE English which is when you are like 15.
ReplyDeleteDon't panic about the ice cream. I know you are panicking. It is okay. I can see you screaming NO IT ISN'T BLOODY OKAY. But it is okay. Why? Because a blip doesn't have to repeat itself.
It takes 21 days to form a habit. According to research. Screw 2010 now, we are so close. Make good easy plans, not silly hard ones because you are so angry at yourself. I just rewrote my rules now.
New goals, (same end goal), new rules. New start. My rule is that each sunday I add two forbidden foods to the list which I then cannot eat UNTIL i am at final goal weight. That is the only sert rule. Rule two is that I must do anthing to reach goal weight by 22nd birthday.
(I noticed your birthday is exactly one month before mine - which year were you born in?)
So don't panic. Use the panic to fuel next year. If you need to get anything out your system. Get it out your system today. And no food is banned until it is on the list, so if you don't put ice cream on the list for a few weeks and you have a blip, then you are still in the game.
Obviously, you can have a different game. Just don't set the rules too hard because you are mad at yourself now.
I hope the doctors goes okay. And just remember. Screw 2010, whatever number appears, it can be altered.
And anyway, you are a gorgeous girl.
xxx