Grrrr

I didn't do what I said I would. Nope I ate all day. I feel like such a fatty and URGGG

Did you ever get that feeling as a child when you were at a friends house or with a relative or something where you would just think I really want to go home because home was normal, comforting, something you could depend on to be snuggly and welcoming every time. My eating disorder is my home. And eating makes me feel like I am away. And all I want to do is run to it and then everything will be alright.


xoxoxo
Elle


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UPDATE

holy mother of god I am about to be sick. I am just waiting to throw up. I can feel that its coming too. This is weird normally vomiting is voluntary and this is definitely not voluntary. I do not like this at all.

I don't want to go to school tomorrow but I kind of want to because it's valentine's day and if I don't go then I can't partake in stupid high school valentine's shit which as dumb as it sounds is fun

but then again if I don't go I can not study for those two tests that I have tomorrow...

hmmmmm.......

decisions decisions