J and I finally talked about it.
Though I was speaking with my body and voice shaking a little, I pretty much explained that I can't go on this way and I know it. He said what I'd assumed, that he didn't know what to do. But that he would do everything he could. He asked me if I wanted his help and I nodded. Though I'm afraid that he won't understand that wanting something in concept is one thing. Yes, I want to live a life free of all of this mentally fucked up shit, but no, I don't want to eat and no I don't want to get fat and no I don't want to change the way I live. So, I don't know how to explain that.
But I don't have any regrets with him knowing. I know I can trust him.
I am really glad that you can trust him :-) and that you finally talked about it with him. I love you Miss Elle, I love you very muchly.x
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