And I inspect myself, my body. Ass, huge. Thighs, unbearable. Stomach, the worst. Cheeks, puffy. Eyes, glassy and glazed over.
I stare at myself in the mirror for what seems like hours. Not out of vanity (dear god no) but out of complete hatred.
How do I have friends, my god. Who in the world would look at me and not just run the other way. I am in honest shock.
I think I'm going to whore around. Take drugs. Drink. See what happens.
Oh sweetpea don't, you are gorgeous but your eyes won't let you see it, and your eyes won't let you believe it as I type these words but it is true. Don't whore around and drink because you hate yourself so so much. I don't really know what to suggest apart from maybe talking to the doctor about other counseling or soemthing that can make you start to see youself how you are. I can also understand if you dont want to learn to like yourself, becuase you dont think you are worthy of being liked, all I can say to that is I am the same, but you tell me I am, and I don't believe it. So hold on for me, and trust me as muh as you can that you ARE worth it, you are pretty and for you I will try to do the same xxx
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