Phew. That's a lotta barf.

Ive been throwing up for like 4 days straight. That is honestly all i've been doing. Not studying, not being with my friends, just vomiting.

First I binge. Then I purge until I gag and am throwing up bile. Then I lay down, dizzy and tired. After about 40 minutes or so I'll want some kind of food again. I contemplate it for a while, and then drag my ass into the kitchen to snatch as much food as I can without my parents noticing, go back into my room and eat it in front of the mirror.

repeat.


for hours, and hours on end. I am so, so tired. My chest hurts.

I am going to "talk" with j's mother this sunday. Like i said before, he thinks I need to talk to an adult about it but he also knows that I can't trust my family. So I'm going to talk to his mom. I think she can take it. I don't know how its going to go.

I just hope they don't think that just because I tell someone means I'm through. How do I tell them that this is my life? Nobody in the real world understands us, girls. We've got to stick together <3