Today is just another ride on an extremely fucked up merry-go-round. Running in place, never getting where you're trying to go.
I drove home from school thinking, Elle, you can do this. You don't need food. Really, you don't need it. Don't disappoint yourself. Then I got home and ate two cupcakes and three bowls of cereal in about ten minutes. great.
And then I needed a place to throw up so I went off to the gym. I threw up in a plastic bag in my car and then went into the gym for quite a while. But just now when I returned home, I ate some candy, a few pretzels, and a rice cake. I am now going to go into the bathroom and throw that up once I finish this post.
And tonight dinner is completely unavoidable so I presume I will be throwing that up sometime this evening. Grand.
This is total shit, just so you know.
Oh yeah, and my chest hurts like a motherfucker.
Elle
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