Wednesday, December 29, 2010

I am so disappointed with myself

that I'm not who I so wish to be.

That today I ate ice cream and then after such a good time of not purging, I purged. And knowing my pathetic self I'll probably spiral into a bulimic craze.

and you're probably sitting there thinking well, she had it coming. Nothing like a good old self-fulling prophecy, eh?

WELL GUESS WHAT? Having faith in myself isn't exactly working out

FUCK MY LIFE.

I feel like a damn cow and I have to get weighed at the doctor's office tomorrow and last time I was there I was at the height of my starvation period and I was THIN, DAMNIT and shes probably going to comment on how ive gotten FATTER.

AND THEN I COULD DIE...just hearing those words.

*sigh*

I am going to the gym in the morning for a HARD workout. I am going to sweat and burn. sweat and burn.

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