I hate it when...

You are so frustrated, but with yourself, so nothing can help.

When all you want is to be thin and beautiful, but so many obstacles stand in your way, keeping you sad.

When you look in the mirror and feel disgust.

When you can't just fucking relax because you're always worried about something.

When you're perpetually tired even though you sleep all the time.

When even after you go to the gym and fast, all you feel is dirtiness and fatness.

When you eat.

eat
eat
eat
eat
eat
eat
eat

It's horrible.

There is no way to describe what I feel right now. No way to transmit the feelings of hate and disgust and desperation to be anything but what I am. There was a story that I actually wanted to write to you, but I can't right now. I need to have an epic fit. Goodnight.