My Days Are Numbered.

My next beauty pageant is in April.

I want to lose thirty (yes, THIRTY) pounds by April. (I know, its alot.)

I feel like such a failure.

This morning, ate big breakfast. Snacked on veggies. Came home, at a giant ice cream sundae and threw up. Ate like 10 oreos. Threw up. Ate pizza. Threw up. Went to the gym. Came home, ate another ice cream sundae. Threw up.

Now I am just fucking tired.

Basically I learned that April was when this was all happening and I kind of freaked out. I want to win this title, so so so so so so so bad. And right now I probably won't even fit into my evening gown because I was 15 pounds lighter last time I wore it. FUCK MY LIFE.

why is everything so damn difficult?????????