Well that was quite dramatic.

Last night's dinner outing began with my parents telling me that TODAY I am allowed to go back to trapeze. (In case you're unaware, I did flying trapeze until I tore tendons in my knee and had to take months  off) This is probably the best thing in the entire world. I have been WAITING and WAITING to go back. I couldn't be happier, really.

At dinner I pretty much ate a normal amount of food, by choice. Well, if you call "shoving food into your mouth with shaking hands because you're so manic" a "choice." Yeah, not exactly my clearest moment. BUT worth it nonetheless.

Then, after such wonderful wonderful news, I came home to find my dog. Dying. Yeah, not exactly my best moment. The mood changed really fast at that moment. We honestly thought she only had a few more hours, if that.

But here we are, this morning, and so is she- happier than ever might I add.

But last night....was highly dramatic. Everyone sitting with silent tears running down their faces.




On another note....we had to do another 'creativity on demand' in english. The class after, my teacher told me that he liked my poem. It was a relatively simple comment, but I felt so....I don't know. I want to say happy? But I don't think that's right. Being individually recognized for anything I do is always what I am looking for. But when it actually happens, I feel weird. Like maybe I didn't deserve it. Like, "wait don't judge that please let me show you I can be better."

who knows.


I ate some cereal this morning because if I try to do trapeze empty, I just won't be able to. But that's all I'm eating beforehand, and then after (hopefully) I can avoid everything.


OH. I forgot something important. The last few days I have been having hallucinations. Not intensely, and they only last a couple of seconds, but they're there. Its kind of like...extremely fucking creepy. Also, I think i'm anemic. But I don't really think the two are related.


Please enjoy the random thoughts above.
Love,
Elle

PS does anyone know how to get a song on my blog? I have one that I would love to have play :)