Meh.

that's pretty much how I feel.

I ate some things I wish I didn't. Not too much. I considered purging. Went into the bathroom, rolled up my sleeves, put two fingers in my mouth...and stopped.

No I thought. You don't need to do this. And I didn't. I went into bed and thought about how I was probably getting fatter by the second, but I didn't purge and that's the most important thing.

And I went to the gym so hopefully that will help.

Also I got a job. Just part time, nothing big. Its at an place where you board your pets when you go on vacation. So pretty much my weekends will consist of 8 hour shifts of me running around. Maybe it will make me skinnier.

Hopefully.


OH MY GOODNESS. I forgot to tell you.

Yesterday: Driving home from school the same way I do everyday and have for four years. I am maybe 1/5 of a mile away from school when, all of a sudden, I have no idea where I am. Not exaggerating. No idea. I panic because all of a sudden I am lost, thinking oh my god. I have no idea how do get home. I have no idea where I live. WHERE DO I LIVE? I drove maybe a 1/2 mile to a mile thinking this when suddenly I remembered and continued on my way. But it was freaky.
THEN:
this morning:
woke up at 4am and looked at the clock. Confusion. Lots of confusion. Stared at the clock thinking what do those symbols mean? I know they mean something, something important. WHAT DO THEY MEAN?? I stared at the clock for about fifteen minutes once i'd realized that it was just the time, and I'd wasted a whole lot of it trying to figure that out. Returned to sleep.

I am worried this will become common. Is it normal to forget things like this? I feel like the answer is no. I feel like its definitely a no. But there is nothing I can do about that I suppose.

xoxoxo
Elle