So I am not sure if I should just accept it quietly or still panic over the fact that I feel like I'm dying.
This is exactly what happened last time.
(and by last time I mean the time when I was in the hospital for complications from all of my eating problems, about this time last year actually)
I was at J's tonight and all of a sudden my chest hurt. Really fucking bad. I went home because (I said) it's a sunday night and I have schoolwork to attend to. But I honestly thought I would die on the drive home. My chest hurts so, so bad as well as my whole rib area. Every time I breathe or cough or swallow it feels like I just got stabbed. No, shot with a gun. Regardless, it hurts. sooo much. And I don't know if its because I'm panicking or because this is just whats happening but I feel like I just can't get enough air and I'm dizzy and my head hurts.
I think I just need sleep. Sleep= fixer of everything.
Hun, PLEASE look into getting help. Life is too precious to waste so soon; we should drink every drop it can offer, and if you know you could be seriously hurt, you need to seek medical help.
ReplyDeleteNext time it could be worse.
I think it's possible to live an eating disordered life and maintain at least a livable level of health- you can't enjoy being thin if you're dead after all.
Hello lovely, how are you feeling now? What are the pros and cons of breaking free... list them on here of tell me, I'll be your friend no matter if you are being sick every 5 minutes of not - I won't leave you no matter what you pick! Weight wise - same, lower or more than before? Because I feel like actually for me it wouldn't make any difference to my weight if i were free of this or not, but i am stubborn because i want the weight to FALL not stay the same. But for what purpose? I don't know, and I'm stuck and won't someone please help me up?
ReplyDeleteYou really don't need to wait until you collapse and end up in hospital to ask for help, if that is what you want. You deserve the help as much RIGHT NOW as you will if you end up in hospital.
i LOVE YOU xxx