FUUUUUUCK you guys i just fucked up I need help please please help me.
I went to the gym for two hours and felt amazing but the moment I walked in the door there was chocolate cake and then I ate it and then I had to take a shower and so I did and I purged in the shower and my sister totally heard it
I accidentally gagged kinda loud like a couple times and I try my hardest not to gag but sometimes its involuntary and I KNOW she heard because of the way she looked at me and the way she said "I've been waiting for the shower for a long time" because she had been listening
and she just got into the shower and I literally can hear her every move which means the water didn't cover it up like I thought it would
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
WHAT DO I DO I AM SCARED.
I know she is going to tell my parents and my parents said if they found out I was doing this again they would send me away
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
i am literally sobbing and typing at the same time.
AND HOLY FUCK NOOOOOOOO my mom just came in and told me that i have a dentist appointment tomorrow and that i can't skip it this time (i have been making excuses)
no, please, please, someone tell me that this is all just a bad dream. Any dentist that isn't retarded is going to be able to see that i am violently bulimic. My mouth is raw and bleeds.
this is the most horrible day of my life. so far. tomorrow will be worse.
i am so, so afraid. please please help me
Elle
Elle, lovely, I love you.
ReplyDeleteCould you talk to your sister, if you are sure she is going to tell the parents anyway it might as well be informed or you could play it down say you are stressed but you are having a really hard time and maybe you could find a solution other than going inpatient. like if you were honest about it you could see a therapist? but that wouldn't mean you had to eat normally, but yu are giving them something so they dont panic?
I love you
Facebk me all day if you need, let me know all your panic and fear xxxx